"On the heels of World AIDS Day comes a stunning medical breakthrough: Doctors believe an HIV-positive man who underwent a stem cell transplant has been cured as a result of the procedure.
"Timothy Ray Brown, also known as the 'Berlin Patient,' received the transplant in 2007 as part of a lengthy treatment course for leukemia. His doctors recently published a report in the journal Blood affirming that the results of extensive testing 'strongly suggest that cure of HIV infection has been achieved.'"
And just so long as you're okay with stem cell research (or if you can fake it for a few hours), you're invited to the worldwide party.
So turn on the music, crank up the volume, and pound some Bacardi, planet Earth. We're one step closer to invincibility!
A little while ago I made a post about jack In The Box and their often times incredibly questionable (but still hilarious) advertising schemes. Though this isn't going to be about Jack In The Box, it is about another company that in my opinion has recently been coming up with some really funny commercials that are worth watching once or twice- GEICO.
I want to preface this by saying two things: 1) For a long time (and with the exception of the caveman commercials), GEICO has been located at a place in my mind that is home to the companies that have the absolute stupidest, most nonsensical and all-around WORST advertising campaigns in the history of ever. The commercials that, after watching just once, make you violently shake your head, foam at the mouth, and need to take a handful of aspirin while putting your face in front of a fan on full blast to calm your nerves. For a while, I easily pictured their advertising/marketing team to just be a a few random homeless men that execs at GEICO picked up off the street and paid in cheap booze to scribble on pieces of paper and mess around with a video camera (which I realize could actually be a FANTASTIC idea, but believe me, it's really not, and I would know). That being said, I specifically want to point out these commercials just to show how far these guys have come, so congratulations GEICO, this is my formal acclamation of your forward progress. 2) This campaign is still fairly hit-or-miss (like the elmer fudd one, or the woodchuck one), but there are a few gems in the bunch, so as far as I'm concerned, a 25% success rate is good enough.
So yeah.
This one gets an especially big commendation:
And because I know someone is going to wonder why I didn't post it, I'll post this one. However, 1) I don't really like this commercial, I find it annoying actually, but 2) the mom is a babe, so I'll let point number one slide.
Here's a brief list of all the things that I am thankful for.
Let me set the mood first:
Ok, here it is:
-Power Rangers
-Capn Crunch
-My Family
-Most of my friends
-The ocean
-Bouncy balls
-Not waking up early for Black Friday anymore
-Boobs
-Football
-Good beer
-Giraffes
-Japan
-The smell of fresh cut grass
-Good carpet
-Scarves
-Black and white pictures
-The Roarin' 20's
-Apples to Apples
-GameCube
-Piggy Banks
-Inclimate Weather
-Not getting into car accidents
-Velvet
-Guitars
-Really comfortable chairs
-My cat (even though she's a bitch)
-Enjoying a good book once in a while
-Coffee and the energy it gives me
-Gold Toe socks
-Jacuzzis
-The color red orange
-Snuggies
-Silly hats
-Standard hats
-Fireworks
-Top ramen
-Clean Air
-Sweat pants
-Computers
-Thrift Stores
-A good cigar every now and then
-A pen that writes really well
-My gift of wit
-My eighth grade English teacher
-Salamanders
-The Mars Volta
-Not being dead
-Fresh clothes out of the dryer
-Fire extinguishers
-Puppies and kittens
-Musicals
-GPS devices
-Musical chairs
-Trees
-Sandwiches
-Mother Earth
Here is a brief list of my favorite pet names I may have used for a significant other at one time or another. I hope that you are inspired to use one or more of them.
But to start, let me help set the mood for you:
I apologize that some of these are coming from a male-to-female perspective, but many can go both ways.
Good luck ladies and gentlemen, go forth and love.
P.S.
* denotes a term I used in real life with repercussions ranging from minor to severe
+ denotes a term you should use with caution and only under the correct circumstances
In the past few weeks, I've been seeing a new Jack In The Box commercial that is just very... well it's... umm... shit, I don't know how else to describe it: it pushes boundaries that I didn't think would ever be touched on in fast food advertising. See what I mean (if you haven't already):
Wow, right? Absolutely hilarious, but HO-LY SHIT. (And if you have no idea why exactly that commercial is so awe-inducing, I firmly decline to be the first one to explain it to you. Ask your dad instead.) However, the best part about that ad is that this is definitely not the first time Jack In The Box has released a commercial that makes you stare around the room awkwardly and ask your friends if what you just saw was real or not. And I've done you the justice of compiling a few of these fantastic commercials right here (the ones I could find anyway):
Menopause
Stoner Version 1
Stoner Version 2
If you know of any more of these ads , let me know and I would be happy to post them.
If you're a lazy dumbo and not going to the link, here's what happened: a man in Tennessee was living in a trailer park. His trailer caught on fire when flames from a pile of garbage the man's grandson had set on fire rose. Firefighters were called but did not put out the fire because the man had not paid a $75 "fire subscription fee." The man told reporters that he had paid it in past years, but that it "slipped his mind" this year; he even offered to pay it while on the phone with 911. But the firefighters arrived, saw the fire, and according to orders, did not put out the fire. They did, however, contain the flames to just the man's trailer area because the neighbors had paid their fee.
Lost in the firewere all of the man's possesions, including three dogs and a cat.
Now I ask the burning question (no pun intended) on everyone's mind:
WTF?
These firefighters are trained to NOT put out a fire because a $75 fee is missing? They arrived on the scene just to mock the man by protecting the neighbors and letting this guy's pets burn to death? This is supposed to be "justice?" What is "just" about not performing the public service that firefighters are trained to do? (Does anyone smell another health care debate brewing?)
The good news is that the man's son went to the fire station the next day and decked the fire chief in the face, gifting him with a black eye. But still, how do you just let this happen as a firefighter?
"Magic Spells"- Crystal Castles. Very good band (if you haven't heard of them), and if you like this song, you should check out their other stuff because you will easily like the rest of it.
"Trying To Pull Myself Away" by Glen Hansard. I've only heard this song on the soundtrack from the movie "Once," which I still have not seen yet, but it's supposed to be super duper cute and shit, so I guess you should check out the soundtrack (which is all very good, was nominated for 2 Grammy awards) AND the movie if you like this song (and I'll try to do the same).
It seems that in recent months, whatever company that owns Klondike Bars has been launching an advertising campaign for the frozen food for about the thousandth time in my life. This time, however, I really have been thinking quite heavily about what I would and would NOT do for a Klondike Bar. Here is a synopsis of each list:
What I Would Do For A Klondike Bar:
-Pay the dollar that it's worth
-Do a somersault
-High five an elderly woman (actually, I'd do that for free too)
-Wake up five minutes before my alarm goes off in the morning
-Skip church
-Call my mom a jerk
-Jaywalk (without police present)
-Smell a questionable-looking sock
What I Would NOT Do For A Klondike Bar:
-Pay more than a dollar for one
-Jump off of a building higher than 3 feet tall
-Pet a grizzly bear
-Let a car run over my foot
-Put a piece of duct tape on my face and let someone peel it off (especially if they pulled it really slowly)
-Watch Chocolat
-Babysit longer than five minutes (at that point, my legal tender payment of choice becomes Trident Layers)
-Kill someone
-Kill a spider
-Kill two spiders
-Jaywalk (with police present)
-Tap dance naked (I prefer to do that alone)
-Eat PlayDough
-Lick cement
-Let a bird poop on me
-Fight a whole class of kindergartners that are on PCP
-Eat a piece of paper
-Donate blood
-Let a centipede crawl on any part of me
-Promise to name my first born son "Rupert"
-Get a tattoo of Donald Duck wearing a cowboy hat and taming a lion
-Fight Hulk Hogan longer than one second
-Become a Jehovah's Witness
-Grab a barbed wire fence with my eyes closed
Check this out. Open up this first link and let the sounds play.
http://www.rainymood.com/
Meditative, relaxing, yeah? Now play some music over top of it. Just a few recommendations (open in a new tab):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEeuetOsxKg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9GH-yvPHSY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbJQT2eDseA (makes so much sense, right?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RpzAJvVrxM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTdCzIduUb4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Z8oYH_bhnA (or if you can find their song U Ba Khin)
Stumbled across this girl and her music earlier today. Try not to fall in love with her/the music.
The band is called Maddie Ruthless & The Secret Affair.
If you like what you hear, you can download their entire new album (which came out this month) at this website:
http://www.communityrecords.org/news/?page_id=181
To download it, you do have to join a mailing list and click a confirmation link in an email blah blah blah... but it's free music, free GOOD music.
If ever you need one particular song to get you motivated to do something, I suggest "Light At The End Of The Tunnel" by Cloud Cult. The audio clip the song centers around seems to be from some sort of NDE documentary or something (if you can't figure that out by yourself). Good luck!
...when I felt the cold coming up
I went "oh my god, I'm dying"
And the next thing I know
I was out of my body
and I had no pain
I was aware that the room was light,
seemed to be filling with a very white light
I noticed a tunnel opening up,
a very dark tunnel,
with rings in it
and a very white,
tiny white second light at the very end
that we were moving down toward
The tunnel was very interesting because
it was full of rings
like a child's play tube out in the backyard
We made it through the tunnel,
we got to the white light
the little hole had opened up
and we got to the white light
And my life was shown very quickly,
like an old fashioned movie
that you see on those tapes
flickering at me
And everything from when I was very, very young
that I thought, did, said,
everything I should have done,
everything I didn't do...
I was so aware that the few good things I had done
they were so few
And I said "No, no"
I said, "I wanna go back,
I wanna go back,
I wanna go back!"
Long story short, I found this short movie while looking for good "mindfuck" movies. If you dig movies that make you think hard, give this a watch. (This is the entire movie, only 26 minutes, not great quality, but what can you expect from a 60s narration-style movie put on the internet?)
The term is "prima donna," NOT "pre-Madonna." This term has been around far longer than Madonna, and not to mention, why would a commonly used term be defined by Madonna's pre-stardom-consumed life?
Here's the wikipedia article to explain it (wikipedia is reliable, STFU):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prima_donna
An excerpt from the article:
"Originally used in opera or Commedia dell'arte companies, 'prima donna' is Italian for 'first lady'. The term was used to designate the leading female singer in the opera company, the person to whom the prime roles would be given. The prima donna was normally, but not necessarily, a soprano. The corresponding term for the male lead (almost always a tenor) is 'primo uomo.'
"Legendarily, these 'prima donnas' (prime donne in Italian) were often regarded as egotistical, unreasonable, and irritable, with a rather high opinion of themselves not shared by others. Although whether they are truly more vain or more hot-tempered than other singers (or than any other people in the opera houses) is not substantiated, the term often describes a vain, obnoxious and temperamental person who, although irritating, cannot be done without."
As I was leaving Goodwill yesterday, I overheard one of the stupidest conversations I can recall in my short life.
Random Woman: "Is today Wednesday?" Cashier: "No, today is Saturday." Random Woman: "Oh, but it's still Labor Day, right?"
Reasons why this was lobotomizingly ridiculous:
-Random Woman was 4 days off of the day of the week
-We are a little over two weeks away from Labor Day
- Whether it was Saturday or Wednesday, Labor Day is always on a Monday
